THE KICK ASS LIFE AND TIME OF POON LIM

*Dusts cobwebs off Blog*

Hello Earthlings, Happy new year(s). I haven’t been in the mood to write; i’ve had other intergallactic stuff to do, and i’m frankly still not totally in the mood. But i forgot totally that this is Earthlings’ only Portal to Mars, and for this i apologise for my long silence and probably in advance for more silence. I neglected my duty and i now wanna do a bit of it.

Thankfully, i got some material i did for my main Earthling Terdoo and wasn’t featured on here. I’m sincerely hoping most of you aren’t fans of that being, as this is only a blast from the Past.

Enjoy:

 

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Settle down quickly please you unruly beings from that green and blue sphere, this message is straight from my superior kingdom here on mars and was sent to an earthling called terdoo to convey so you should expect some dilution as it’s lost some of its Martian spice; but I’d trust you’d still make sense of what gibberish I’m sure it has become.

DISCLAIMER: The message you are about to read has gone through series of inferior alterations hence I shall not be held responsible for, or laughed at for any “gbagauns” found. This message was dictated by my proud immortal self while on set for a movie (obviously about my awesome self…but this is not about me..)And was written by my make-up artist on set and was immediately sent to the earthling without being re-read or edited by me… have you written all that down? Good, wait, hope you didn’t just write my question… you fool stop writing till I say “ready for the next paragraph”. Alright I’m ready for the next paragraph.

Poon Lim.
I want to talk about a very spectacular earthling today and he is none other than Puun leam Poon lim. That Nigger (Chinese though) has the record for longest amount of days spent on a life ramp on sea with 133 days… on a wooden boat? Tell me you don’t already agree he’s a bad ass? You don’t? Facking lying bitches! Chill for a bit let me tell you how that dude denied the grim 3 points in the league of extraordinary bad asses that season in 1943.

Chill, before you start writing this paragraph, tell them to note that this is as I saw the events from Mars’ surveillance of Earth, done? Let’s move on. For the sake of this message I want you earthly beings to refer to poon as Sir. Poon Lim (Martian Knighthood secretly bestowed upon him) kapish? Or I shall seize earth’s oxygen supplies for 4 Minutes and 31 Seconds. Oh you’re still waiting to hear how he did it? Well I took interest in that section of the surveillance live feeds during the World War II because Sir. Poon was a steward on a British merchant ship and I sensed slavery tendencies within one look… but I was wrong, it was greatness I saw in that look. Pause, I’m starting to sound too dramatic. I’ve contaminated this paragraph; next!

Sir Poon Lim’s ship was attacked and torpedoed by a German vessel and the sharp dude immediately grabbed a life jacket and jumped out of the sinking ship just before it exploded and was in the sea for 2 long hours before finding that wooden raft. The raft had several tins of biscuits, a forty liter jug of water, some chocolate, a bag of sugar lumps, some flares, two smoke pots and an electric torch but was that enough to have kept life in him for the 133 days? I think not!

poonlim

That dude finished all the food on the raft and started hunting birds and sea creatures, he even wrestled a shark and drank its blood to quench his thirst after the fight and ate the motherfucker sea bully afterwards. What’s up with that? Please tell me you don’t even think he’s more than a bad ass. Well I continued monitoring SPL(yea, get used to the acronym too) for a while and kept on manipulating his situation to elongate the extra-terrestrial pleasure; in fact I deliberately made 2 vessels and a rescue plane pass him by and poon claimed he was ignored on sea because he was Chinese. I can’t even tell you all the stunts that chin-ger pulled on that raft because it will start to feel and seem like fiction and Martians really can’t be associated with un real things

Anyways, I got tired of the bullshit and it wasn’t really fun watching SPL kill birds and sharks anymore. Or drink their blood and save rain water with canvas on the raft to drink and I finally stopped the manipulation and let the earthling sail to land in Brazil. And throughout these 133 days SPL had lost only 9KG and was able to even walk unaided after being rescued.

King George VI bestowed a British Empire Medal (BEM) on him, and the Royal Navy incorporated our tale into manuals of survival techniques. After the war, Poon Lim decided to immigrate to the United States, but the quota for Chinese immigrants had been reached. However, because of his fame and the aid of Senator Warren Magnuson alongside my inter-galactic influence, he received a special dispensation and eventually gained citizenship.

Poon Lim finally lost 3 points to the grim in Brooklyn on January 4, 1991 but remains a bad ass to me. End. Send that to the Gay and self-pleasuring earthly creature, Shut that device and come do my make up

poon

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There you go. I have fed you with enough bull shit for now.

Till we meet again.

Anchor Baby

*Dusts cobwebs off weblog* Happy new year, Dear Earthlings and Happy Democracy day, dear Nigerians. I sorry i’ve been away all year and i won’t be telling you why. But i’m sorry for the wait.  Kindly enjoy this short story.  Cheers – @The_Basco

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It’s noon and the house is empty and silent, Brenda is cooking in the kitchen with her earphones plugged in as she’s humming along to a seemingly slow tune, She bends over to put a pot into the lower cabinet and Felix walks across the window outside, unseen to her. She starts to clean up as the pots are still steaming from boiling their contents, she pauses, removing the left earpiece and listening out for sounds. She doesn’t seem to hear anything unusual and she puts the earpiece back in her ear and continues humming, mopping this time.

Felix walks into the house without making his usual “Guess who missed you” Noise, he shuts the door and walks up to the kitchen door holding his bag, surprised to see Brenda oblivious of his presence. He then notices the earphones and pauses to observe her for a bit as she hums on while mopping the floor, backing the door where he stands. She pauses again and leans up, touching her forehead in pain and then she reaches for the cabinet above and retrieves a sachet of pills, pops one and tosses it in her mouth, looks at her wrist watch and heaves a sigh of relief.

Felix seems to have seen enough as he drops his bag by the door and walks up to hug her from behind. She’s startled, but lets him kiss her on the neck still and then she takes her earphones off and turns to him, expressionless –

“Hey, How long have you been around for?”

–  “i just came in”

.- “Cool. You’re home early” He looks at her with a glimpse of concern

“Yea, i came to check on you” – “i’m okay” she looks away.

There is an uncomfortable silence between them both. She walks away to tend to the pots on the Cooker and Felix tries again to engage her in a conversation.

“So, Erm… did you do it already?” she stops, with a stern face

– “Can we not talk about this or anything else till after the meal?”. He nods and

– “Okay, fine. Can i help you serve?” – “I’ve got this, thanks” – “Fine” he walks back to get his bag, touches his forehead in pain and walks off into the house.

*******************

They’re done eating now in what had been a totally silent meal. Brenda drops her spoon and slides her chair out in a bid to leave the dining Area, Felix quickly speaks up to stop her

-“You said we could talk after the meal” She starts tidying the table

– “Okay, Let’s talk then. What about?” – “The Abortion, Did you do it?”

She pauses – “we agreed i’d do it today, didn’t we?…i’ve done it”

Felix is relieved and smiles “Let me clean up, you need to rest” – “i’m okay”

-“No, really. I’ve got this, relax and let me help you”

She Obliges. Felix is evidently happy now as he’s cleaning, she looks at him, with a bit of bitterness and asks

– “Are you even planning on Marrying me?”.

The question shocks him,  he touches his forehead again, shrugs it off and gathers momentum as he turns to her with the same puppy look he did earlier in the kitchen.

– “Ofcourse i do, honey. I don’t just want a child to be the reason we’re rushing it,  we’re not ready and we definitely won’t have a Bastard”

She is furious at his words and Spits back – “Oh? You don’t want a child abi? or Marriage yet? And you’d be fucking me every night without condom like you’ve paid my bride price”

He touches his forehead again in visible pain “Look, can we finish this talk when i’m done with the dishes?” – “whatever” she walks away.

He packs up the plates and takes them to the kitchen. He’s emptying leftovers from the plate into the waste bin when he feels another sharp pain in his head. He drops the plate on the sink and leans against the wall in a bid to rest. He suddenly remembers something and briskly move to the cabinet where Brenda had earlier gotten pills from, He take out the only sachet in there and makes to pop one, He stops in Horror as he looks at the pill and says to himself.

“Contraceptives?…The Bitch was never pregnant”

THE END.

© 2013 @The_Basco. All rights reserved

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The Ransom

*Humming* My Girlfriend is finer than, Alliyou! Alliyou!- oh,hello there Humans, Beliebers and Tonto Dike, as you must have noticed, I’ve left this portal to a certain earthling to administrate for a while now; I’m Back *Terry G Bell*. I don’t have time as I’ve started diversifying and have a motivational seminar to deliver in Neptune(Don’t ask what it’s about, because I don’t know either) later on in the day, settle down for this story I’m about to tell you. Uncut from one of my numerous surveillance cameras on Earth – Yes, I see you all; you’re staring into a screen right now aren’t you? Psssh. Settle down!

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*Somewhere in Africa*

*Cell Phone Rings out*

Mr. Bee: Hello, call me back as I’m in a meeting

Caller: don’t you dare hang up, we’ve got your son

Mr. Bee: We? My Son? What is this please?

Caller: you can call it a Prank call, but maybe when you search for your son and don’t find him, you’d see this more as a business call.

 Mr. Bee: *To business Partners* Sorry Excuse me, I’ve got other important stuff to attend to. *walks out and returns to the phone call* Okay. You’ve got my full attention now

Image

You’ve got my attention now

Caller: confirm, all those Oyinbo wey I been dey talk na because your pikin tell me say you go dey meeting and I been dey fear say you go carry me put for speaker. Make them no go think say I no be professional kidnapper

Mr. Bee: I understand sir, so how can you help me? He is my only Son

Caller: I like people like you. Una sabi how to follow us talk, we go like collect just $1billion

Mr. Bee: Sir? One Billion Cefas?

Caller: no dey follow me crack, I said U.S Dollars!

Mr. Bee: Oga, I get one question –

Caller: Wetin be that?

Mr. Bee: The time wey una carry my pikin, una carry gun?

Caller: Yes na, plenty sef

Mr. Bee: ehen, carry 3 come. I go use one, give my driver one and my gateman go carry the last; make we go find where we go rob, abi you get suggestion for me?

Caller: E be like say you dey reason say na vic. O dey follow you talk abi? You better take me serious, I go allow you follow your pikin yarn now.

Mr. Bee Junior: hello, daddy. Which kain man you be sef? Them don carry me for like 3 days now and you no even put am for news, I no even sure say you sabi say them carry me sef

Mr Bee:  Junior, sorry. Thought you were at your mother’s and I didn’t feel like calling her to confirm. 3 days? Wow! Have they been treating you right? Have you been eating? what do they feed you with?

Mr. Bee Junior : Them dey feed me well o, e near the type wey una dey gimme for house o

Mr. Bee: Ha. Junior, why are you already speaking like these people? In how many days? –

Caller: – ehn, e don do… no be mid-night call. So now wey you don see say na your pikin we hold true, true…when we dey collect our money?

Mr. Bee : Even if I get time to rob all the banks wey dey Abuja, I no fit see that kain money, no vex. I just cant.

Caller: But your pikin nko? You no reason am? I know say you get this money, bring am make we give you your pikin. Na private number I take call you ba? Credit go soon finish o, you better yarn us better thing now.

Mr. Bee: How much last? Talk better before your credit finish o.

Caller: Oya 200Million Naira last price.

Mr. Bee:  ehn? Where you want make I find that one too? Abeg keep the boy, teach am Kidnapping work join. No be only am I born *Call Credit Finishes*

 

At the kidnapping Center

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Bobo, your papa na mad man o

Caller:  Bobo, your father na mad man o. I think say na lie you been talk say him no go drop anything. How much contract you talk say him get last month?

Mr. Bee junior: $10 billion o, to do express from our village to river Niger

Caller: Ehn? Na him the man no fit drop $1 Billion? Or 200 Million Naira?. Damn, how we dey do am now?

Mr. Bee Junior:  Make una wound me small, Tear my Cloth. I go run go house talk say I escape. Nice one guys, we try.

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And do let us know what you think via the comment box below. Cheers

© 2012 @The_Basco. All rights reserved

Boss III

There was power outage and Folusho had to go turn the Generator on, he was somewhat annoyed at this task as he was also the one delegated to deposit the week’s earnings in the Bank. Why didn’t they have Thompson switch the Generator on instead? All he could do was murmur and keep most of those thoughts inside himself; complaining out loud was obviously not an option. But then on the bright side, he’d leave Thompson to attend to the customers and that again was bliss.

OZ pharmaceuticals was a really large establishment with lots of cash involved in their daily transactions, but with just enough personnel to handle the daily influx of customers, it was only wise to dedicate only a staff per week to go through with the bank deposits, and the day of the week set aside for this task was Thursdays, the staff selection process was basically random.

Folusho hated banks a lot and was quite demoralized to have heard he was randomly selected out of the pharmacy’s 24 employees for this week

– “why me?, oh lord.. why not that new guy?” he found himself asking in an overly dramatic way, but that was yesterday and today he knew that he had to go on with it and get it over with. He turned the key to the ignition of the generator and it immediately roared to life, he was done with that; he could only wish that the bank transaction would be as easy as a turn of a key.

Thompson had gotten quite a lot on his plate within the few minutes he was gone and the closing hour was near, Thompson and Folusho were in charge of the 2nd sector of the west wing; most of the money of the pharmacy was there today as the deposit was to be done by one of their attendants – “I need cough syrup” the customer next in line said to Folusho as he arrived back at his counter –

“Can I see your prescription please?” Folusho asked, as was expected of him. The young man produced a medical report alongside a prescription. Upon checking it out, Folusho made to ask the next question required of him –

“So which brand do you prefer?” –

“Bennylin with codeine, 20 packs” –

“I’m sorry, we can’t sell you more than one according to this prescription” –

“wetin you mean by that? We be twenty wey dey use this prescritpion, biko give me the twenty, no be my money I go spend?” –

”please sir don’t let’s make anything here difficult, it is the rule” – “okay then, no wahala, I shall have the one pack” –

“How are you paying sir?, Cash or POS?” –

“Cash” Boss Ned said as he reached into his pocket and got a medium sized pocket knife – “Everybody on the ground, try to be Hero here and you’d be stabbed so bad you won’t believe you had that much blood in you…” as he said that, some of the people on the line went down and three others joined him from the line, they were armed too–

“una wey dey counter, hands on the counter where I can see them” Boss Ned went on to say again –

“Go down well before I kick ya belle enter ya head” screamed another of the armed men to the people on the ground in sector 2 of the west wing, the same drill was happening in every other sector of every wing in the building and some of them were still outside watching out for any sudden movement, Kamal was with the outside team; he led them.

“ehen, first of all give me the 20 bottles of bennylin wey I been ask for” –

“That won’t be a problem sir” Folusho said shaking, and he made to go and get
the bottles –

“Eis, stop there! Monsuru, follow the guy go dey look wetin him dey do… you get
Alomo? Join 2 bottles add am”
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Rukayat had finished taking her bath but didn’t feel like leaving the apartment, she was feeling too much like the street queen and wasn’t gonna be in a haste to leave the “palace”, she sat on the bed topless and made to apply some Vaseline on her sore nipples, grabbed the remote control and switched the T.V on while sipping on the remnants of her Alomo and coke. She never stayed this long in his house at all with him in it, let aside now that he wasn’t there.

“Why they no dey ever show better thing for this telefision sef? Mscheew” she said to no one in particular as she switched off the T.v and made to lay down, she was going to wait for Chinedu to get back from wherever it was that he went to, she hoped he didn’t take her request for more Alomo as a joke.

It had gotten real dark and Chinedu wasn’t home, she made to put her bra and top back on and picked up her cell phone, dialed his number and listened to it ring and eventually go dead. She repeated this call drill several other times, leaving nothing less than 20 missed calls on his line. She still wasn’t going to leave the house and she was beginning to wonder why she had been there for so long and hadn’t even deemed it fit to leave yet, with nothing else left to do she switched the television back on –

“make these people don get sense dey show better tin o” she rubbed her eyes in disbelief, and stared at the screen yet again – “no be Chinedu be that? Wetin him dey find for teli?” – *news reporter’s voice* “…The 30 man Gang of robbers armed with knives and bats were apprehended by the police while trying to rob a pharmaceutical store, although one got away. The police had been tipped anonymously of the robbery before hand…” she switched off the T.V and felt a certain cold sensation down her spine and entire body, she grabbed on her breast and exclaimed “Oluwa o! them catch Nedu? Na to comot here o, before them come raid him house join” and without wasting time, she packed her purse and left the house without locking up.

END

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I’m too lazy to finish writing and I feel it’s too long already so I’d let y’all finish it in the your way by filing these loopholes the way you’d have loved it:
– Was the one that got away the snitch?
– Did he really get away? Or was that a part of the benefits of being an
informant?
– What was the rationale behind the snitching? Supremacy in the hood? The ownership of the street queen? The sudden guilt and need for a crime free hood?

Those are the loopholes I left, if you found any more… kindly state them and fill them the best way you want it. Thanks for your relentless support, much love.

© 2012 @The_Basco. All rights reserved

Boss II

Welcome to this Mansion once again, you’d be needing knowledge of this to go beyond this point. Kindly take your seats and take off your Condoms, this is not at all sexual.
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Kamal was popularly known as k-trigger, but that was for the junior boys to call him. He hated his government name and only one person dared called him that; Chinedu. He wished he could call him “Chinedu” each time he got called “Kamal” but that was against the street code and violation of that simple rule “Real names are for bosses to call as Nicknames are for juniors” could make his head the main course to the chicken pepper soup appetiser. He was second in command, the Deputy Chief of these zones and answered only to Chinedu.

“k-trigger how e dey be na? who we dey wait?” Bright said as he paced impatiently around –

“na chi- na Boss Ned we dey wait, I leave am for house. Him suppose reach here soon” Kamal replied looking irritated. Kamal was way higher than bright in hierarchy and had nothing more to say to him after that, his duty was simply to give command and control, his phone vibrated violently in the left pocket of his brown chinos trousers and he struggled briefly trying to get the phone out of his extremely fitting trousers – “how far boss? We dey wait” –

*on the line* “bobo, how far? make una go play small. I dey do something, I go call una when I don finish.” – “no wahala” was all Kamal could say before the line went dead. How could he change all of them’s plans just like that without any valid reason? And he even said they should go and “play”? were they kids? –

“we don dey plan this thing tey tey, I no sabi why boss go dey do like this. I know say na that useless girl him dey f*ck again…we no get choice sha, we gatz wait” Kamal said to the rest of the Gang with pure rage clearly written all over his face.

******* ******* ******** ***********

It had been a little over an hour since Rukayat had come into the apartment, in that time a lot of pleasure had been exchanged between the two desiring bodies and in the most passionate way this time. Rukayat had gone into the bathroom to rinse off and Chinedu simply put his Jeans and Shirt back on and made to call Kamal again to give the go-ahead for re-assembly, more time was a luxury at this point. It was the d-day, but they were way behind schedule already –

“Kamal, I don dey drive come, make sure say all man don dey ready. I no wan yarn too much when I reach o, smooth and brief. safe”… “Babe, lock door when you finish, I dey comot” – “okay o, buy Alomo for me when you dey come back o” she managed to reply from the tiny cubicles carved out to serve as a bathroom. She turned the little plastic cup filled with water face down to release showers of water on her sore nipples. They hurt real bad from his rough manual treatment, she loved the pain and the soothing relief water brought also.

Chinedu was all of a sudden nervous, maybe they weren’t all ready for this, maybe they hadn’t planned and practiced well enough. All those thoughts soon left his mind as he focused on the Lagos traffic; yet another factor he hadn’t considered so much. In about another 45 minutes, Chinedu arrived at the muster point and all the gang members were present –

“so I don show now and we’re good to go. We still remember the drill ba? No be serious something, so na basic equipment o” –

“Boss Ned, I don go through everything with them again as we been dey wait, we are good to go” kamal answered.

“Confam, I don sabi say you no go slack. So who be the people wey you been select to count am after?” Chinedu enquired yet again

“Boss man, leave that side jare. Them go announce the amount for news tomorrow” Kamal answered yet again, like he anticipated the query. All matters had been addressed and the gang got into 4 buses in all and that was a sure indicator that the task had started.
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Final sequel would be posted 12pm on Friday the 30th of November, thanks for your time and dedication, sorry i keep pushing shit forward, forgive me.

I’d also like to briefly tackle the issue of commenting. People, please voice your opinions through the comment box below and not via BBM and let other readers see them and either agree to them or disagree with them, that way we’d be able to give you exactly what you want. Cheers

© 2012 @The_Basco. All rights reserved

Boss

Hello there good people of the Earth, I must say that I’ve been really busy off here in recent times (Not like I’ve ever been regular anyways) but I seem to have done a lot to keep y’all visiting regularly for the next 2 weeks at least. I and the Team (what y’all call We) hope you like it. You can like to get your Condoms and Postinor and what have you because I think this is sexual. Enjoy :)

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This post is suitable for earthling who have attained the age of 18 and more. I won’t be responsible for the disobedient young earthlings that go beyond this point. No, really.

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The day started off like every normal day in this part of the world, like a typical Thursday would be in these zones, was it going to end the same? No one exactly knew for sure, but so far it was looking pretty much the same; the stray dogs looking weak and hunting for easy food in the waste bins, the stray chickens being streets wise and refusing to be “astray” in the real sense as that would surely end them up in the pot of a hungry human, the Humans themselves were busy dodging bullets and buying some for themselves. This was the ghetto as Chinedu “Boss Ned” knew it; it was all he knew.

Boss Ned was the king of the hood, and there was no point disputing it. He grew up here and patiently climbed the ladder of hierarchy to the top and today was his first day of action as the royal head of these rugged zones, it had taken few weeks of planning, scheming and practice to get here and the D-day was finally here.

His phone rang out loud as he walked out of his door to get to the car and he was a bit startled, “gather yourself o boy why you dey shake like ashawo for Allen?” he told himself as he gathered momentum and answered the call – “Babe, how far?” he said puffing his chest like he could be seen through the phone, he always assumed the dominant position to make up for his lack of adequate height, he was 5’1’ and was also nicknamed “small but mighty” but that nickname was never said to his face; “Boss Ned” was the politically recognized name on the streets- “Alright na, no wahala” he said finally ending the 1 Minute 23 Seconds long call that had apparently left him more determined in his chosen task for the day.

The task required him driving off to a pre-determined location to start with, but that phone call changed things for a bit, he’d now have to return into his apartment and remain there for the next 45 minutes or so and he didn’t owe the rest of the crew any explanation; he was the King. In less than 5 Minutes after the end of the call, there was a soft feminine knock on his door and he immediately felt blood move from his Big head to the small one- “Let’s go there!” was all he managed to think as he walked towards the door to open it.–

“Rukayat,you tey smallo”–

“Chinedu, Na wa to you o, I family bolt? E never reach 10 minits since I been call you o” –

“Oya no vex, sidan make I find you Alomo and Coke” he said gesturing towards the edge of the bed.

It had just occurred to him that he had no condoms left and wasn’t going to admit that he wasn’t prepared for this, not having her Alomo ready was enough sin –

“I dey come, make I go buy the cond – Alomo come” –

“ehn? Chinedu, you dey use me play?why you never buy all this tinz down na?” –

“babe, calm down…I dey come” he said as he sped out to iya London’s kiosk down the road to get the condoms, Alomo and coke. Iya London got that name because she claimed to have had her primary education in London during the colonial Era; no one argued, they hadn’t been there anyways. He returned 10 Minutes later to meet her already half naked on the bed, he was hiding the condoms in his back pocket while displaying 2 bottles of chilled Alomo and a chilled bottle of Coke; he loved his Alomo undiluted(the Masculine way) –

“no vex say I been tey, iya London been tie me down with her London talk, you know na” he said with a wink that wasn’t necessarily called for as he handed the Alomo and coke to her.

“Chinedu, no go first me finish today o. Drink that ya Alomo well well because I no go gree you like that last time” she said in between sips of her personally made local cocktail –

“wetin you mean? No vex me o” he had finished his bottle and was unbuttoning his shirt, she left her bottle that was still significantly full and went over to where he was sitting on the bed, parted his legs wide enough for her to fit between in a kneeling position facing him as she took his hands off his buttons and picked up where he left off. His hands had been taken off his shirt and he was going to enjoy this for as long as he could, he then grabbed on her arms, making small movement in circles with his thumbs; he was taking this slow and she loved it. She was Done unbuttoning his shirt and had taken them off him and she got up from her knees and sat on his already Hard dick and rocked on it back and forth teasingly for a few seconds before getting up to smile naughtily at the bulge in his jeans, she loved to think that the Alomo had kicked off its work. She took a sip of her cocktail yet again and in a swift movement, she sat on his lap facing him and made to kiss him with some of the content still in her mouth, this irritated him as he pulled away from the kiss –

“wetin be that? Abeg I no get time for this oyinbo love” –

“no vex, I don swallow am” and she made to plant another deep kiss on his lips, granting her tongue immediate access into his mouth while her hands rubbed on his chest, pinching his nipples. He felt this was some sort of request, an “invitation to treat” as he made for her bra, struggling with the hook for a bit, he pulled away from the kiss to complain yet again “abeg comot this thing for me” –

“you too dey complain, ahn ahn” she fussed a bit as she un hooked her bra.

They had been kissing and smooching for like 15 Minutes now and he couldn’t believe how much she had made him love kissing in the past months, she was his hood hoe, the streets queen and they were at each others’ beck and call. That reminded him, the guys must have been waiting –

“I dey come, make I sharply call Kamal”… “bobo, how far?make una go play small. I dey do something, I go call una when I don finish.”and he hung up – it had occurred to him that the 45 minutes he had in mind before now could be an understatement . As at now she had only her under pants on and he still had his jeans on, he wanted her to undress him some more, he preferred it that way. He gave a suggestive look at his bulge – “release junior na” and that was probably all she needed to hear, she was loving the pace at which they were going today, he seemed a lot more patient and seemed to be anticipating more than her nakedness. She tugged at his belt and unbuckled it, yanking it out of the holes, she was fast. Next she grabbed his jeans and dragged them off him and saw his Eiffel Tower waiting to be unveiled underneath his boxer shorts, she had lost all patience now as the price was near, she tugged at the boxer shorts too and took them off – “Junior don big o, Alomo dey do you good” and pushed him into a lying position from his sitting one.

You would have thought she was a rock star with the professionalism with which she grabbed his dick in her right hand like a wireless microphone and slowly licked at the crown… she loved the involuntary movement of his dick in response to her oral gestures and went on to dip half of his member in her mouth thrusting it in and out slowly while maintaining her tongue movement on his dick crown. How she managed to pull off such oral co-ordination was beyond him but he loved it still – “urrgh fuck” he grunted out as he started to really feel the heat, he leaned forward to a sitting position yet again and grabbed at her breasts, squeezing them hard, he had lost his cool and it was getting rough; they were loving this and nothing else in the world mattered.
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As has almost become a habit, there would be a sequel to this post and it would be published on Wednesday the 28th of November 2012(1 PM, W.central Afican time). Thank you all for your support and constant visits. I also want to give a special shout out to my Team; Ella, Georgina, Kenny, Annie, Zoba and co, you all rock.

Last announcement *drumroll and Vic.o beats* we now have an official twitter account. Follow us on @TheJokingAbode for updates and all, yes guys we follow back too, just mention us and we’d be right behind you. Cheers

© 2012 @The_Basco. All rights reserved

Time Wrap III

You know you ought to have read Time Wrap I and Time Wrap II before attempting to read this, right?

 

DISCLAIMER: All names and events in this story are entirely the work of the writer’s imagination, every resemblance either living or dead are entirely co-incidental… or not.

*************************************************************************************

It’s been several days since she told him off over the phone. Several days since she left his house in annoyance and he didn’t even make a move to stop her. Time had gone so fast, the hell did it find a jet pack from? A time machine didn’t seem so much like a bad idea; lots of things to be undone and even more to be redone. Adrian snapped out of his fantasy knowing fully well that the past couldn’t be changed and the best he could do was to learn from them in order to save the future.

Lots of issues kept cruising in and out of his mind at the speed of 2 Bolts on Cocaine and Weed each; he couldn’t keep track anymore (see what I did there?). He needed to clear his thoughts, he picked his glass of Orange Juice with Vodka off the table just beside the Blue sheet of hard Paper, sipped it and made to drop it back where he just picked it. He noticed the glass had left a ring of water on the newly polished center table and it made him miss her more, she’d have insisted he used a coaster. His life was a roller-coaster ride right now, was it just him? Or was everything in life connected one way or the other (noticed or not) why did he have to describe his life as a “roller coaster ride” after thinking about Annabel and Coasters and she was yet the main reason his life felt like a roller coaster ride; The Vodka and Juice were obviously not helping yet, he was nervous, these thoughts were faster than ever, he emptied the content of his glass into his mouth real fast and winced as he swallowed hard – “That should do the trick” he said standing up to place the blue Sheet of paper on the Freezer in the kitchen as he went to drop his empty glass in the sink, he had been seeing too much of that Sheet of paper around lately and they made him more nervous.

“Hey there Clara, how are you today? Please can I have those evaluations sent to my personal mail, I won’t be in the office today… Cancel all my appointments for the week too. Thanks” He hung up and tossed the phone on the couch like he was fond of doing whenever he just got off the phone with anyone who wasn’t Annabel. He wondered why he wasn’t interested in his Personal Assistant Clara, she was really attractive and obviously attracted to him too, he’d be needing more of that vodka and juice now; his thoughts were tending to be a lot more inappropriate. He was going to retrieve his glass and make for the bar for more Juice and Vodka when his phone rang, his heart seized, it was her, it was her special ring tone. He ran towards the couch and quickly picked the call casually –

“Hello there, Adrian on the Line”-

“I know who I called joor, how are you?”-

“oh Annabel, is that you?. I’m very well thank you”-

“Haha, you joke too much Adrian and you’re Welcome. I’m fine too, not like you asked… I called to confirm that you got my message”-

“I did Annabel, and I Understand. Best of Luck”-

“Thanks Adrian, See you soon. Bye” – Adrian didn’t bother replying because she hung up as soon as she said those words, brought back certain memories yet again. Perhaps Sleep was the only way to incarcerate these wicked thoughts. Speaking of undoing and redoing things, going to that very club on that fateful Friday night(Saturday Morning) he met Annabel was one of the things he’d surely redo if he ever laid his hands on a time Machine.

************

Annabel was on her way to the airport in a taxi, the movement had been quite impromptu. A Red Picanto car drove by and she smiled remembering her first argument with Adrian, thinking of it now it seemed really cute, she missed him already. She had sent wedding invitations to her colleagues, family and Adrian, her favorite color(Blue) was also that of the invitation card. “Ebele Weds Annabel”… She smiled at those words on the Blue card and tucked it back safely into her bag, she was going to the U.K to get her wedding gown; her husband (to be) was bad like that.

She had been at her parent’s house for  a while, mainly for the wedding arrangements and was to see Adrian that day, she got a tip that the Gown she was to buy was on sale the next day and her husband being a bad ass had given her his Credit card for special occasions; this was one, she needed to be in the U.K in time for the sale, she had tried calling Adrian to cancel the “Appointment” but his phone was probably off and she had to drop a voice mail explaining. She tried his number again in the Taxi on her way to the Airport and his number finally went through. She finally confirmed that he had gotten her message, she missed him yet again and it didn’t feel wrong still. She still loved him and couldn’t wait to get back from her trip to see him.

MONDAY, 10th FEBRUARY 2014

It had been just a week since she left for the U.K to shop for the wedding, she was on her way back now and she smiled as she made a mental comparison of Heathrow and Murtala Muhammad Airports, the difference was quite clear, she worried she may have had to pay for extra luggage, but then it wasn’t her money to be spent, she loved her husband for many reasons and funny enough his money wasn’t one of them.

Lagos, Nigeria… Home, she loved that she was back, her traditional wedding was in four days, valentine’s Day and that was another cute coincidence. She called her husband to inform him that she had landed safely and was in a Taxi, heading back to her parent’s House for more arrangements, funny how they spoke on the phone –

“Hello, Adrian Here…”-

“I thought your mother warned you to stop calling yourself that, ehn? Ebele”-

“Haha, I figured I’d say my traditional name to only her over the Phone. Moreover, those were the very first words of mine you ever heard. Thought you’d love to continue hearing it”-

“Na you Sabi, I called to inform you that I’ve landed safely and I’m heading to my parents’. See you soon Baby”-

“I’m not a Baby ma, see you soon too sha… and I missed you”-

“haha, aim better next time,  miss you too. Bye”-

She didn’t care to figure how a total stranger had in Months grown to become someone she’d be married to in days, but she knew it was what she wanted, what she loved and was what she was going to get- “Cheers to Mrs Adrian Ebele-Miller” she whispered with a dreamy smile and a chuckle,as the Lagos Breeze caressed her face and the Car sped away.

THE END

© 2012 @The_Basco. All rights reserved